Monday, August 25, 2014

It's really hard to grasp the reality that you can never go back.

I don't know about anyone else but I find it a 24/7 challenge to keep from grabbing just one gluten cookie, just one crispy gluten containing chicken nugget, just one burger from burger king, 
The reality of never ever being able to be normal again is hitting me hard. 

I expect to feel 100% better off of gluten but truth be told, I am still struggling. 
I have my occasional diarrhea spouts, abdominal cramps, fatigue & depression. 
I had read while doing some more research on Celiacs Disease that sometimes it can take more
then just a few months to see full results, sometimes it can take a year or more. 

I am a person who loves to see results NOW and my patience is always tested, so I find this
hard to swallow. This does explain why I haven't felt 100% just quite yet though. 
Since going on the gluten free diet and even going on the temporary gluten challenge, I haven't had one HORRIBLE BOUT of stomach cramps which results in me curling up on our couch in total pain. 
That to me is a WONDERFUL SIGN. I also heard the doctor who did my procedure tell me that since my tests results after being gluten free for 17 months were so good, that it meant that my body is responding to no longer eating gluten (for the good). 

This is good news for me and I am completely blessed and Thank God almighty for saving me from a future of illness and pain but I am still plagued with depression off and on and having a hard time dealing with this big change. 

People do not understand the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual impact Celiacs Disease has on a person unless you have it. No one understands the struggle you go through day in and day out. This disease if controlled by a strict diet will prevent you from dying but it will bog you down and make you unhappy. Specially if you are like me and LOVE FOOD. 

I find the hardest times are when we go to get food. I am always the one that has to make special exceptions or cannot have any food altogether. That to me is very hard to deal with. 
Another thing is having to deal with cross contamination 24/7 due to having to make meals for my family of 6. We have 4 kids who love their wheat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches etc. 
Cross contamination is an issue on a daily basis. 

I'm strongly considering changing our whole family over to gluten free so that I can make it easier, safer and healthier for my family (and specially for me) but the price to do that is HORRIBLE. 

I have searched and searched and searched some more and there really isn't any help you can get unless you purchase A LOT of gluten free food, save all the receipts and then get some money back each year in taxes to help pay for it. Keep in mind that would only work for the one with Celiacs, Not the whole family. So for me that would be like getting a whole ton of gluten free food & then dividing it by 6 and the remainder will be what I will get back in taxes for my food. NOT MUCH! 

See, It's hard to cope sometimes but I want to write this on my blog because I WANT TO BE REAL WITH YOU. The gluten free diet is not the quick fix/cure. It's a diet, it's a mind change, a life change, an emotional change, a challenge! 

& No matter what, you're not the only one, I'm here with you. 

Let's walk this path together & not look back, what do you say?. 

-Gluten free momma.